One of the ways I help others is by supporting them in understanding their challenges, appreciating all they have – and have become – and gaining a deeper perspective on every aspect of their lives.
I help my clients recognize and resolve their hidden misunderstandings and emotions that cause them pain and confusion. Whether it be a relationship, an event, or something that happened many years ago, there is often a deep realization of love awaiting them – one that can convert painful realities into deeply fulfilling and expansive ones.
Let me give you an example. A couple came to me because their five-year-old daughter was having serious behavioral problems that were disrupting the entire household. The parents were frustrated and felt helpless in the face of her frequent tantrums, violent outbursts, and unpredictable actions.
Children often act out the unresolved conflicts embedded in their parents’ lives – so we began looking at the family’s history. During her first pregnancy, everything was done ‘right.’ She followed all the rules for a healthy pregnancy, hoping for an ideal birth, but what actually happened was a very long, difficult delivery requiring surgical intervention. While the baby was born healthy, the mother experienced significant physical and emotional distress.
She had expected perfection and felt betrayed by these challenges, so when her daughter arrives, bonding was difficult. Dad stepped up, helping in every way, including feeding, which only served to create more distance between mom and her beautiful newborn.
Eventually, mom healed physically, but emotionally, the disappointment remained, hardening itself as anger and sadness. Meanwhile, feelings of alienation infected every interaction between them, even though she deeply loved her child. When the second pregnancy occurred, there was less rigidity involved, resulting in an easy delivery and a strong bond through breastfeeding.
However, as time went on, the first child developed extreme behaviors and jealousies against her younger brother. This caused a terror-filled environment within the family, leading them to seek professional help – which is how I was invited to help.
It was obvious that the mother’s unprocessed birth trauma was still alive within her – and affecting her daughter. The little girl’s behavior mirrored what the mom felt inside, so we needed to do more than just talk about it. The work included going into expanded states of awareness, where hidden pockets of unresolved emotion could be located, allowed, and transformed.
Together with the mother, I entered into this consciousness field which allowed us to access deeper parts of our Being. In the course of examining those difficult moments during delivery, the mother came face-to-face with an erroneous interpretation; somehow seeing the challenging birth of her daughter as an act of the baby’s rejection of her mother.
Nothing went wrong medically, but expectations were not met – and the mother chose to feel as though she failed personally. This attitude created distance between the mother and daughter, and affected future interactions.
While nestled within these emotional awarenesses, a wider view emerged: Although difficult, the birth did not fail and no one was rejected. And while the disappointment did not appear to merit anger or sadness, these very real feelings were no longer confined and restrained within a limited definition or story. As the mother processed her emotions and unintended misperceptions, they melted and lifted, revealing feelings of freedom and the obscured reality that it was all perfect.
This was the first time she felt a deep connection with her daughter. The birth had been very difficult for her, but through a new lens she could now experience the beauty and joy of it all. Now she could embrace her motherhood and daughter fully by loving, knowing, and supporting her more than ever before.
As the mother’s system settled into greater integrity, bliss, and robustness, the daughter began to relax and self-regulate naturally. The whole family entered into new ways of being together – playfulness, closeness, and love. The mother could now be fully present for her daughter when affection and attention were needed.
This story illustrates just how healing our past can influence the present moment and the closeness of family members. As the outcome demonstrates, this can lead to living harmoniously and lovingly within previously troubled relationships.
When we attend to our hidden wounds and access deeper levels of awareness, most challenges will become opportunities, fostering what may appear to be a miraculous level of peacefulness, healing, and growth.
It’s time to dive deeply within the Self to experience the most expansive love and healing imaginable.